About
Hi, I'm Paul. This is my website. I do a bunch of stuff and you can see some of it here on my reel. When I'm not robbing banks with surfers who dress like ex-Presidents to fund our trips to find the perfect wave you can see me in the 2nd season of The League on FX and Funny or Die Presents on HBO (both Premiering Sept 2010). Also I'm in the upcoming film Piranha 3D (Aug 20th).
The Way Things Should Have Happened by Ghost Abraham Lincoln
Ford’s Theater - Night (1865) - Presidential Box
Abraham Lincoln sits watching the stage play, “My America Cousin”. John Wilkes Booth stealthily sneaks into the presidential box and fires a gun into the back of Lincoln’s head.
John: Sic Semper Tyranus!
BAM! A shot rings out in the theater. There is silence. Slowly Lincoln turns around.
Lincoln: Nice Try Fucktard. Good thing I wore this Bulletproof Hat. Now why don’t you drop that gun sweetheart and lets fight like men.
Lincoln takes a defensive karate stance, he then roundhouse kicks John Wilkes Booth’s head off his body onto the stage.
Lincoln: Now that’s what I call a show! (To the actors on stage) Let’s wrap this puppy up, so I can get wasted and have sex with Emma Rossblum*
*Historical Note: Emma Rossblum in her time is equilvalent to our Jessica Alba.
The crowd cheers. Lincoln gives the thumbs up to a young boy, who gives him a knowing look (Author’s Note: Just from the knowing look we assume that the young boy is a time traveller who in attempt to not do his homework about Lincoln’s assassination, created a time machine and warned Lincoln about the assasination.)
MUSIC: Kenny Loggins “I’m Alright” Kicks in!
The End
Written by Ghost Abraham Lincoln
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