I know we are all are so bummed to miss out on the Golden Globe Awards tonight, so to fill that void, I’ll try my best to guess what the speeches would have been like….

Atonement: Best Picture

Joe! Joe! This is for you. You are a Genius! (Sigh) Oh God. Wow! Thank you. (Breathes in Deeply) Thank you so much. Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press for selecting this film and….and (start to well up) I just am so happy right now. I feel so blessed (tears start rolling) for being apart of this film. I don’t have to tell you what a wonderful cast and director we had. WE DID IT JOE! (Screaming turns to sobbing) You are all angels that have come into my life. It’s been a such a hard year with my knee surgery and with my house renovations but I …Intelligible… I also want to thank England and Books for making this possible. (Compose myself) Wow! this is surreal. Where would I be if I didn’t have Janie Bressack standing right behind me. Janie this is for us! I love you. I want you back…..Oh Before I forget. Doug you owe me a coke! (Laugh Manically)

Music Plays, Cut to closeup of Brian Grazer looking confused…Cut to Ad for the Wii