PAUL SCHEER

FINALLY SOME INFO ON THE MOST TALKED ABOUT FILM OF 2009

OLD DOGS (via MTV Blog)

If you liked “Wild Hogs,” chances are you’ll want to take “Old Dogs” for a walk as well. The Film reunitse Travolta with “Hogs” director Walt Becker to tell another story of an over-the-hill, uphill battle.

“It’s basically the idea that old dogs can learn new tricks,” laughed Williams. “It’s about two men in what they call the twilight or the golden years, older men. [My character] finds out that he has twins that he didn’t know about [and] then the kids are suddenly told ‘This is your dad, and you’re going to stay with him for the weekend’.”

Think “3 Men and a Baby,” but starring a “Pulp Fiction” hitman and Mork from Ork.

“John’s character is a really hardcore bachelor, who thinks that the idea of having kids around would be great for cougar bait,” laughed the spastic “License to Wed” star, adding, “For those of you who don’t know what a cougar is, check online: Single white females, or single females looking for husbands.”

“Old Dogs,” which also stars Matt Dillon as a conservative camp counselor, is due in theaters in 2009.

Some Ways the 81st Academy Awartds Could Have Been Better:

Instead of Robert Deniro, Michael Douglas and all those other “Best Actor” award winners Roberto Benigni should have given a speech about each nominated actor. It might have been something like “Wow! Look at Sean Penn! Wow! Look at You. I love you. I kiss your Face.”

Loki (Mickey Rourke’s Dog) should have been added to the “In Memorium” Salute.

Hugh Jackman should have used his Wolverine Claws at least once.

Christian Bale should have Presented Best Director of Photography

The word Jai Hole should have been said at least 15 more times.

They should have added an award for Best Hat, because Phillip Seymour Hoffman would have one that hands down.

Madea and Big Momma could have presented the Award for Best Costumes.

We could have seen the edited footage from the technical awards where each winner tried to dry hump Jessica Beil.

MF MAGAZINE INTERVIEW

If you could take any dramatic movie released in the past decade and remake it with a comedic spin, what would that movie be and how would you change it?

Terminator 2, I’d make it about one of the Mall Shop Owners whose store was destroyed during the T-800 and T-1000 fight scene. He’d try to explain what happened to the cops they wouldn’t believe him. He’d keep trying to tell everyone about “the robots” but everyone thinks he’s crazy. Eventually his wife would leave him, he’d start drinking and then one night he’d decide to hunt down these robots and try to capture one. Then I’d make the ending like movie version of “Clue”, in one version he’d kill the robots and in another the robots would kill him and in the real ending you’d reveal that he isn’t a shop owner at all he’s just a kid in a coma and this is all in his dream.

Ben Bloodied By The Dock…

Did He Kill Penny to make Desmond Come Back to the Island?

UPDATE: (A GREAT DETAIL FROM A COMMENT I GOT)

Ben did say he was going to do the same to Widmore as he did to him (ie, kill Widmore’s daughter, Penny)

“Coke Zero part of a balanced breakfast!”

Chick fil-A has given up on even pretending that their breakfast is healthy in any way.

I want them to start offering Breakfast Dessert.

Set Your Tivo’s

EAST BOUND AND DOWN