PAUL SCHEER

Go see CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, this weekend. I saw a bunch of clips of this movie at Comic Con and it’s hysterical. It’s totally unlike anything you might be expecting. It’s very funny and totally different than the type of animated films that you are used to seeing.

Also not only is it written/directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller (CLONE HIGH) but it’s got an awesome cast including Bill Hader, Anna Faris, Andy Samberg, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Will Forte, Bobbe J Thompson and Neil Patrick Harris.

MY FIVE FAVORITE ROLES PERFORMED BY STAND-UP COMEDIANS

(I’m sure I missed some really obvious ones)

RICHARD PRYOR (THE TOY)

This was favorite movie as a kid and not just because there was one scene where Richard Pryor hit a button and it accidently undressed a painting of Jackie Gleason’s wife. When I was 7, that was the closest I was getting to nudity of any kind so I was psyched. I guess in retrospect the message of that movie — which is, “It’s okay for a rich white guy to own a black man” — is a tad racist.

Which Mood are You?

THE BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER, NEXT TO THE DYLAN BAKER COSTUME FROM HAPPINESS.

Brandon Bird continues his streak of amazing pieces. Each one really makes me laugh and think. Damn, I want that.

nedhepburn:

I Am The Night, by Brandon Bird.

i know what i’m going to be for Halloween: Philip Seymour Hoffman.

FOR PARENTS who aren’t content that their own childhood was miserable.

terrybain:

Stop.

You’re hurting me.

Baby Boy Chewbacca

Robot Lincoln at D23 Expo

CHARLIE SHEEN writes 9/11 Conspiracy Fan Fiction…In a fake interview with Barack Obama. (*By the way the website never mentions this is not real interview)

SOME HIGHLIGHTS…

THE INTRODUCTION

PBO – Big fan of the show, by the way.

CS – Sir, I can’t imagine when you might find the time to actually watch my show given the measure of what you inherited.

PBO – I have it Tivo’d on Air Force One. Nice break from the traveling press corps. (He glances at his watch) not to be abrupt or to rush you, but you have 19 minutes left.

-CHARLIE PULLS OUT HIS FOLDERS AFTER ASKING SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS

(At this point one of Obama’s senior aides approaches the President and whispers into his ear. Obama glances quickly at his watch and nods as the aide resumes his post at the doorway, directly behind me.)

PBO – No disrespect Mr. Sheen, but I have to ask; what is it that you seem to be implying with the initial direction of this discussion?

CS – I am not implying anything Mr. President. I am here to present the facts and see what you plan to do with them.

PBO – Let me guess; your ‘facts,’ allegedly supporting these claims are in the folders you brought with you?

CS – Good guess Mr. President.

(I hand the first folder of documents to the President)

CS – Again sir, these are not my opinions or assumptions, this is all a matter of public record, reported through mainstream media, painstakingly fact checked and verified.

(the President glances into the folder I handed him)

CS – I have the proof Mr. President, along with scores of documents and facts I’d like you to take a look at. Here.

(I hand him another file – much thicker than the first)

PBO – I see you came prepared Charlie.

CS – No other way to show up Mr. President. When in doubt over prepare I always say.

PBO – Now you sound like the First Lady.

CS – That’s quite a compliment sir.

PBO – As you wish. Please continue.

AFTER CHARLIE PRESENTS THE 20 POINTS ABOUT HOW 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB.

PBO – Well Charlie I can’t say this hasn’t been interesting. As I said earlier you’ve showed up today focused and organized. Regardless how I feel about the material you’ve presented, I must commend your dedication and zeal. However, our time here is up.

(the President rises from his chair , I do the same).

CS – Mr. President! One more second!

(The President starts towards the door – I follow him quickly step for step).

CS – Make sure your on the right side of history.

(The President breaks the handshake).

PBO – I am on the right side of history. Thank you Charlie, my staff and I will be in touch.

(I watch as he strides gracefully out of the room, the truth I provided him held firmly by his side; in the hand of providence.)

Check it out!

azizisbored:

There are still some tickets available for the Aziz and Friends Largo show in LA on Saturday. Joining me will be Sarah Silverman, BJ Novak, Paul Scheer, and host Harris Wittels. Call 310-855-0350 to make reservations and visit largo-la.com for more info.

NEW LOST POSTER IS AVAILABLE @ DamonCarltonandaPolarBear.com

Eric Tan “THE CRASH”